Why I Haven’t Blogged in Forever
Hey hey my baking friends! Remember me?
That sugar high dessert lover who couldn’t stop geeking about baking?
Yeah? No? Vaguely?
Does the suddenly disappeared food blogger who hasn’t posted anything new in what feels like eternity ring a bell? Any hint?
Theeeeeere we are! I knew you’d remember me that way.
Now let’s not rub it in my face because the guilt of my blog silence is already killing me!
And that’s why I’m writing you today.
I’ve actually been meaning to write you for an embarrassingly long time, but a cloud of writers’ block combined with hesitation and a false conviction that ‘I’m coming back soon, so no need to complicate things,’ kept pulling me away.
But its been too long…way too long, and things are getting confusing…and I hate for you to keep wondering or feel that I bailed on you.
So I’m finally here to open up, clear things out and get a little personal.
I feel like as my loyal readers (aka internet friends & baking buddies) you deserve to know where on earth I’ve disappeared and if I’m still blogging or not.
Well…this may need a bit of an explanation, but to put it in a nutshell, here’s my honest, and perhaps somewhat puzzling answer:
It’s no secret that I haven’t blogged in so many months…duh, but it was truly an unintentional break and one month just kept dragging the other.
I got so many concerned messages and emails (Hi!) wondering if I’m still alive…and thankfully (and obviously) I still am! YAY! Although at one point, I thought I wasn’t gonna be…
And this, my friends, is what started my blogging absence.
I promise I’m not being dramatic here, but I really just thought I was dying.
It’s something that I don’t like to talk about, because it strikes feelings that I don’t want feel, and brings memories that I don’t want to remember. Which is another reason why I kept delaying this post.
For that reason, I’d prefer not to dive into too much details, because just thinking about it again brings palpitations to my heart.
To make a long story short, I literally had a near-death-experience on a plane flight, where just like that, out of the blue…I felt my heart about to stop. I felt my soul fighting to escape my body, my breath fading away and my helpless self, unable to function. At that moment…I had no doubt, that this was it. The End. The closing chapter to my 35 years of life. It was sudden and unexpected and the whole thing unraveled in a matter of seconds. With an oxygen mask plugged to my face, medical equipment wired to my body, and a concerned crowd surrounding me, I could do nothing but pray. Pray for another chance for the sake of my children.
Hanging mid-air, with a thin hope of making it to land alive, was without a doubt, the most terrifying 4 hours of my life. Till this day I don’t have a clear explanation to why or how it happened, but it lead me to discover that I have a common heart condition that, thankfully, isn’t severe and can be lived by with the help of medications.
The few months following the plane incident, were spent fighting the side effects of my heart medications, which were, to say the least…draining. I was also in a mental state of confusion and instability. I was advised to get over what happened on the plane and just…”snap out of it!” Which… sorry, but NO! One just does not go through what feels like the closest thing to death and wakes up from it as if nothing happened. I was badly shaken and I needed time to heal. Time to think. Time to question. I started questioning my purpose in life, going through my past and thinking about my future. I felt incredibly grateful and privileged to be gifted another chance in life and wanted so badly to make it worth it.
So many things were going in my head. I started questioning the blog, among other things…and it baffled me. Is this really what I wanted to be doing for the rest of my “extended “ life? Am I doing the right thing teaching people how to make fat and sugar-laden food? Is that what I want to be remembered for? Am I better off dedicating the endless hours spent on blogging, taking care of my family and/or doing something more “worthy”? Am I incapable of moderation? There are so many amazing food bloggers out there…does the world need one more? Am I on the right path?
So many questions…very little answers.
One thing I knew for sure…was that I wasn’t ready to blog at the moment. I wasn’t ready to be on social media and I certainly didn’t have the appetite nor energy to create new recipes. I just wanted to be left “TO BE.” On the other hand, I never stopped replying to comments, answering questions and keeping up with emails. It took me longer than I should, but I eventually did. Which explains the “kinda, sorta” portion of the break. I haven’t completely plugged off of the blog.
Several months later, my cardiologist gave me the great news that I was ready to get weaned off of my meds. My heart activity had been successfully regulated to the point where I can go on with my normal life, medicine free, only taking them if needed. I couldn’t be happier and I started to feel like myself again. At around that time, an opportunity for a 4-month weight loss challenge opened up to me. And in an effort at trying to “better myself” after what happened to me, I jumped to the chance. I was determined to get rid of my baby weight once and for all. And since a healthy body leads to a healthy mind; it couldn’t have been a better timing. To be successful this time around, I knew the baking craziness just had to stop. So sorry blog…but you were gonna have to wait a little longer. I knew I couldn’t possibly make it if I was testing dessert recipes all the live long days. So once again the blog was put on the back burner, which again served me the time to think it more throughly and made way for lots and lots of greens and proteins.
And guess what?! For the first time in 15 years, I can finally say that “I have reached my goal weight!” I’m over the moon with this milestone and I want to scream it off the roof! So yeah…the blogging break did pay off. Don’t get me wrong, I still baked; typically only once a week for my cheat meal instead of 3 times a day. Ofcourse there were the birthday cakes here and there, special occasion treats, gifts, along with a few bake sales. Now that was a balance I was satisfied with.
So what now? I joined another 2-month weight loss challenge that ends in late June, to lose a couple extra kilos…you know…to save for a rainy day, then work on maintaining the loss with my nutritionist. So will I be ready to blog again after the challenge is over? YES! But sadly not right away.
After many many months of simmering it in my head…I decided that I still want to continue with the blog. I miss it…I miss you…I miss being a part of your baking adventures…I miss sharing the joy…I miss geeking about what I love…I miss being creative and I miss the challenges it brings. Truth is…I love eating and feeding my family healthy food on a daily basis, but I’m extremely enthusiastic about the science of baking, indulging in it every once in a while and sharing the experience. I came to the conclusion that an occasional sweet kiss of sugar is necessary to keep us sane. Cake brings life to celebrations, cookies draw smiles on faces & chocolate…oooooh chocolate…who can argue with its magic. So yep! I’ll be back, God willing, with a treat at a sensible frequency that we can all feel good about and with a pace I can commit to. My hope is that this time, I’ll be back with the serenity and balance that gives my life a much bigger purpose, and a moderation that allows me to do more in other fields of life.
To be realistic though, I don’t think I can be back before September, due to my house going through major renovations, which includes my kitchen…the heart and soul of this blog. I’ll most likely be staying at a temporary house during summer and sadly won’t be taking along my baking toys. But eeeeeeeekkk! A new kitchen! Can’t wait! Stay tuned for that.
Meanwhile, I’d like to thank you all so much for your patience and support. Thank you a million times over for all your caring messages and concern. Thanks for all the prayers to a speedy recovery…they worked! And thanks for continuing to visit the blog, baking from it, sending your questions, feedback & pictures…they kept me busy at a time of need.
Here’s to a fresh comeback & new outlook at life & a big wish for health & happiness to everyone. See you soon with more tried and true, nerdly tested recipes!
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That’s very inspiring to hear.. I hope you find the balance you’re looking for while. Ot staying away from this place! I need your baking in my life ❤
Thank you Reem for your warm wishes. I can’t wait to start posting again, meanwhile…I’m always here if you ever need to chat about baking ?
WELCOME BACK WE’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!! Honestly,I have to tell you that since youve been gone ive tried like 3 other baking websites and oh lord have i missed you,nothing compares to your blog,its so good to hear that youre doing well! And oh boy I cant wait till September now!❤
Thank you so much Reem for your sweet welcome! I can’t wait for September too!
I’m so glad you’re back (and good/healthy/safe, too)! Your blog is honestly one of the best and I’ve missed you so much. Can’t wait until you post again. <3
Thank you dear Alexa! I’m so honored that you think so much of my blog.
My blogging world feels so much brighter already. I am so thankful that people were available to help you in the scariest of times and that you’ve put your health as a priority. Also kind of love we are the same age. 😉 I can’t wait to see all your newest creations and continue this journey with you. So much love!!!
That’s so true Sabrina…I’m truly blessed with caring people that helped me get through it, one of which happens to be YOU! Your emails and constant checking in made so much difference and helped in more ways than you can imagine. Thank you so much for being there and for being such a sincere, wonderful friend.
I miss you, time is up! Come baaaaaaccckkkk!!!
Hahahaaaa Sabrina ? Right on time! I just finished shooting my comeback post, and CAN. NOT. WAIT. to publish it in the coming few days.
Oh dear Tasbih ❤️❤️ Your words brought tears followed by a wide smile ? I am so glad you are back. Never stopped checking your blog.
Thank you Esraa for everything and for always staying in contact and keeping me in your prayers. I’m so grateful for this blog for bringing you in my life.
Salamtek Tasbih! So happy to hear that you’re OK and that you’re focusing on what matters the most: your health and your family. Looking forward to reading your new blog post in September (or whenever you decide it”s time.) Lots of love and hugs x
Thank you so much Nazly for your warm welcome and support. Your anticipation is getting me really excited!
Dear sister! I am so sorry to hear of your troubles and health worries. InshAllah you are in a much better place now and surrounded by love and happiness.
I love your baking recipes and photos..the clarity and vibrancy in your images always astounds me! I too am trying to lose the ever present post baby weight (its been 5 years now since my last little one so really no excuses will do!).
With your amazing ability to write and capture your recipes, it would be wonderful to see your blog cover the healthy recipes you have been dishing up! And any tips on how you have acheived your weight loss goal would be fantastic too!
We cant all have our cake and eat it so maybe a few heart healthy recipes and tips would befit your beautiful blog.
Thank you Kezra so much for your lovely words! This whole experience has been an eye opener in so many way, one of them has to be healthy eating habits. I’m actually brainstorming how I could start incorporating good-for-us recipes within the blog, without straying too much from its theme.
Welcome back! This comeback is much anticipated already! This blog of yours is a happy place for many of us. ?
Thank you Aya for all the love and support! Much appreciated.
SO SO HAPPY to see this post because it means youre back.
And alhamdulillah for reality checks, scary but puts life into perspective by the will of Allah.
May you always remain healthy and happy in dunya and aakhirah aaameen.
Take care ♥️
Thank you Amreen so much for your lovely words and prayers. Means so much to me.
Welcome back Tasbih!
I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better now ?
I wish you all the best in life because you truly deserve it.
I’ll be impatiently waiting for your come back to blogging soon inshallah. In the meantime I’ll continue to refer back to your blog for some of my all time favorite recipes (I also have one bookmarked to make on the first day of Ramadan inshallah)
Take care ❤️
Mariam it’s always great to hear from you! Thank you so much for checking in during my “break” and for the love and support you gave me. Ramadan Mubarak to you and your family.
V pleased to know you are better.
Would love to follow you baking veggies and protein if you decide to start blogging that.
Enjoy ur time with your family and friends.
Happy Ramadan dear
Thank you so much Hanan! Wishing you a blessed Ramadan to you and your family too. Will definitely consider weaving in the healthful recipes into future posts.
As salaamu alaykum..Alhumdullilah you are doing much better and may your goals be reached. Ameen. Soo good to hear from you. Missed reading and seeing new recipes. Will wait patiently for you to return and start trying out some new and tasty recipes and treats from you. Take care and best wishes.?
Thank you Shakerah for your precious prayers. I miss hearing from all of you and interacting with amazing, loyal readers like you. It’s my #1 reason for my comeback!
Yaay, you are kind of back .. you know we can do with the healthy food too 😀
Hahaaa yeah “kinda” ? Thank you so much Fatma for your lovely comment!
It’s great to hear from you. I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I’m so glad you are well now. I can totally relate to so much of what you said. I’ve been trying to diet and maintain my baking blog at the same time which is quite a challenge. I’ve often wondered if I should be sharing sweet recipes that aren’t healthy but I also realized that there is a time and place for some sweetness in this life. It’s a great way to celebrate milestones and bring a smile to a child’s face. Finding the balance is definitely the key. Good luck with your renovations. I’m going through the same thing this summer!
Lise! It’s so great to hear from you too! I couldn’t agree more with you…it’s all about the balance and moderation. The challenge for us though is the constant recipe testing trying to perfect a recipe worthy of sharing…that was my culprit. I hope we can all find the balance that keeps us fit and healthy while still enjoying the sweet things in life.
glad to hear again from you and happy for your transformation. we can always do healthy food too 🙂
all the best to you. love from Malaysia
Thank you so much Nadia! Yes…healthy food recipes will definitely be in my posting radar.
I was just lurking through your instagram and wondered where you’d gone! My husband went through pretty much the exact same experience but wasn’t airborne when it happened; still hasn’t been weaned off the meds but we’re hopeful! Glad you’re feeling better and that you’ve made a lifestyle adjustment. Looking forward to deliciousness whether in desert format or otherwise:)
Thank you so much Cherry ? Hahaaa the emoji popped up as soon as I wrote your name so I just had to go with it ?
I hope your husband gets up and running very soon and wishing him a healthy heart and peaceful mind.
It sounds like you have truly been through a lot in recent months. I am happy you are doing better and getting back to a “new” normal. Please continue to take care of yourself!
Looking forward to September and the new healthy recipes you develop as well as a smattering of new indulgent ones.
Thank you so much Debbie. Your sweet message and sincere wishes mean so much to me. I can’t wait for September too!
Alhamdulillah good to know about your health.. hope to see some amazing stuff soon! Please can you do a post on how you wrap cakes or box them when it is for someone else and you have to take it to their house thankyou
Thank you Saleha for your warm wishes.
Cake packaging is a great idea for a future post! Will definitely keep it in mind.
Wishing you a speedy recovery enshallah. In the meantime I will be making your Kahk for Eid with my children.
Thank you so much Caroline for your warm wishes! I hope you enjoy the Kahk ?
If that’s what your weight loss dishes look… I’m SO READY for you to share healthy recipes too!!!! I’m so glad you are okay, Tasbih, I really am. You’ve got a strong, amazing heart. And I can wait till the end of my days for your recipes, healthy, fatty or however they come. They are worthy, so is your health and wellbeing. You got my inconditional support!! <3
LaVerne what can I say to your beautiful words and lovely feelings…you’re just amazing! Thank you so much for not only being a wonderful, loyal reader, but for being a supportive friend. Much love ?
Glad to hear you’re well, happy and healthy!
One of the best blogs and we’ve missed the recipe updates. Love the photos of your healthy food as well, and can’t wait for more inspiration on This front plus some “healthier” bakes 🙂
Good luck, stay healthy, inspired and happy 🙂
Thank you Engy so much for your lovely words & heartfelt wishes ?
Yay! And thank you 🙂
Tasbihhh! I am so glad you are okay!!
I checked your blog every week, then every two weeks and then I thought where have you gone?!!! Should have checked the comments section I guess, would have found you.
Whenever you do feel it’s right for you to come back, do so. There are many people awaiting your return, including me. The last I saw of yours were the amazing Ramadan recipes and here we are. We have come a full circle. Lots of Duas for your speedy recovery and your health.
Thank you so much Fariha for being such a loyal reader & for continuing to visit the blog. I’m so grateful for your love, support & beautiful prayers. Blessed Ramadan to you and your family.
I’m so glad you’re back! You’re blog is one of my top desserts blogs. Thank God you overcame your health challenge and it is inspirational how you gathered your strength and are ready to enjoy life again 🙂
Wish you all the best ans waiting for delicious recipes!
Thank you Samah so much dear! I can’t wait to start sharing new recipes with you again.
So…I had this recipe I have just made for the second time, and this time I had to look up the web address and see what I could find. What I wanted to tell you is that I never liked banana cake but I gave my friend his choice for his birthday, which is tomorrow. I found your recipe on Pinterest and stopped looking after I made it once. I love the way you write the instructions – you really want the person making it to succeed. For as many times I have made cream cheese frosting THIS, your recipe, should be called something else, it is so incredible. Who knew it’s supposed to be cold and hard when you blend it? You have a gift for both baking and writing. I am sorry to hear of your health issues but understand….I will dive into your archives and get into trouble that way, I’m sure there are lots of recipes there. You heal in all ways – and know that you have a community of people who have never met you in person but feel a connection….hey, we can all use some delicious healthy recipes too! Thank you for sharing all that you have!
Leslie your comment has touched my heart & is giving me all the feels. I had to show it to my husband because it made me so happy. I really don’t know what to say to your kind words, except to thank you so being so wonderful, so understanding & so supportive. People like you make the world a better place. Thanks for making my day.
7amdella 3la salamtik! Glad to read your words again! And congrats on reaching your goal weight..
When you return back to your blogging why don’t you start sharing some of your green recipes as well… And one huge suggestion would be to look into healthy baking recipes… There are so many Vegan Cakes and options out there that make baking less hazardous to the body but still is a challenge to make it look and taste as good as the actual baking we love… And what I loved about your blog was how easy and simple your recipes are to follow and you definitely have a talent of explaining things so easily that makes me feel you’re standing right next to me in the kitchen so I would honestly love to see some of those Vegan options out there in your easy to follow methods… Just a suggestion 🙂 Welcome back and good luck with your June challenge!
Thank you so much Dina for that lovely welcome and sweet wishes. I love all your suggestions and will certainly keep them in mind upon my return to blogging. I agree with you, there are much many healthier dessert recipes out there that are just amazing, and while I sadly don’t have much experience with them, they’re definitely worth exploring.
Aaaaaah! Im so happy!! Just today I was thinking, ‘hmmmm i wonder if i should make those cupcakes again that i made last year for my birthday’ (June17) EVERYONE loved them!! Even some of my friend’s mothers were aksing me for the recipe (They were the chocolate and italian meringue buttercream ones) I just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!! Idk what my life would be without your blog!!!!!!
Happy birthday Amalia! It’s almost here! And absolutely, positively YES…you should treat yourself to one of those cupcakes again! They’re one of my personal favorites too. I’m so happy you loved them as much as we do. Thank you so much for your sweet message.
First of all..شفاكي الله و عافاكي ??
Ur words touched me deeply!
I believe the hardest thing ever is trying to find ur main role in life, and inner peace that makes u able to start all over again with a newborn spirit..
May الله bless ur every step farward ☘
Thank you so much Fatema. I couldn’t agree more with your words. May we all be blessed with the strength to reach this state moderation, balance and understanding.
Hamdilla 3la Salamtik! Whew, not to be selfish, but I was worried that the blog was finished!
More importantly, I’m glad you are taking that break to care for yourself.
Take all the time you need for yourself. There’s nothing more important than one’s health. We will be here when you are ready. Those healthy meals look amazing. Will be thinking of you as Ramadan comes to a close. Keeping you in my du’a!
Thank you so much Zahra. You’re so sweet. No worries honey…I’m here to stay lol! I love you guys too much to leave ?
Glad to hear you’re doing okay 🙂 Might I suggest that you include the healthy recipes, and also healthier baking options. Looking forward to your comeback 🙂
Thank you so much Hala! It would be great if I could include healthy recipes in future posts; I’m definitely putting some thought into it.
Bless your heart!! What an awful ordeal. I am very glad that you are better. You have to do what is best for YOU! I just found your blog today through another site, and I do look forward to making some of your recipes. Good luck to you in your recovery and God bless you!
Beverly you’re truly the sweetest. Thank you so much for all your kind words and well wishes. I love it when really nice people like yourself bump into my blog. Welcome and I hope you enjoy it here ?
yes you’re finally back!!!! i think we’ve all been waiting for your return 😉
those cupcakes and cake look heavenly! what camera have you used for these shots?
Thank you so much Zahraa! I use a Canon 5D mark iii ?
I’m glad you’re okay.
Hope you live a wonderful healthy life filled with ايمان، joy and happiness.
I love baking too and I came across your blog a couple of years ago. I trust your recipes. They are always great and delicious. I was actually here to find a recipe for my husband’s birthday cake and I read this post!
Thank you Tasbih. Thank you very much.
Ps. Enjoy life. Enjoy your children. Enjoy the small little details that go unnoticed. The datails that we usually get used to but miss so badly when they are no longer there.
Badour you words have touched my heart in a way that is so beautiful. Thank you for your well wishes, prayers, words of wisdom & great advice. Thank you for coming here and leaving your mark on this page. It means a lot to me.
I’m so so glad to hear you are feeling better 🙂
We have missed you around these parts.
Please take care of your health. Looking forward to much much more from you.
All the very best to you and your family.
Thank you so much Mahvish. It’s so good to hear again from you ?
Can’t wait for your comeback … I really enjoy your blog. Take care of yourself
Thank you so much Sam! I’m really looking forward too ?
I’m so glad you are OK, and are now on a healthier path. I found your blog during your break, and it is by far the best baking resource I have ever found. I have tried several recipes on here and they have all blown me away, your pancake and chocolate chip cookie recipes are regulars in my household. Like you, I am health conscious, but I also absolutely love my treats, so I more than sympathize that it must be a tough balance doing a baking blog and still trying lead a healthy lifestyle. Your blog is amazing though! So I’d be sad to see it go, but I’m glad you are taking the time to find the right balance for you.
Susanna your comment is so touching and relieving. It is everything I want to hear and more. My heart is just full of love and life right now. It’s so lovely knowing that we’re on the same page and that you’re so understanding of the break I had to take. I just love connecting with people like you, who probably live across the world for me, yet have a lot in common. I love how blogging somehow manages to break cultural barriers & bring people together in humanity. For that reason, and so much more, I never want to let go of this blog, even if I so sparingly post on it. Which brings me to this…I just finished shooting my comeback post and plan to post it in the coming week. I’m sooooo excited!
Great to hear from you again. I just love all your Egyptian bakes, as you offer secret tips for successful results. The first recipe i made was Cheese konafa and it was a runaway success with my in-laws.
Hope you are getting enough rest after such an ordeal. Looming forward to trying more of your delicious creations Tasbih!
Thank you so much for this lovely message. I’m doing great now, thank God & thanks to all your prayers and well wishes ? So Happy you’re enjoying the recipes on the blog. I hope you get a chance to try more.
يسعد ايامك يامبدعة سعيدة جدآ بالتعرف على مدونتك
الحمد لله على سلامتك ويارب تكوني بخير وصحة جيدة
ياريتك تضعي وصفاتك الصحية بعد تجربتك لها
ولي طلب صغير ياريت تعرفيني موديل الكاميرا والعدسة التي تصورين بها اطباقك واذا بتصوري باضاءة صناعية او طبيعية اكون شاكرة لك
Thank you so much for your sincere prayers and well wishes Om Anas. I apologize for not replying in Arabic, as my laptop doesn’t have Arabic letters’ keys. Thank you so much for your suggestion about sharing the healthier recipes. Will definitely put into consideration and see how it can be done without deviating too much from the baking theme of the blog.
As for my photography gear, I use a Canon 5D mark iii and alternate between a 24-70mm lens and a 100mm macro one for closeups. I use natural lightening only. You can find more information and tips on my food photography on my instagram highlights under ‘food photo.’
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Hi Tasbih..I just read your article. I wanted you to look into the fact that what you experienced on the plane was a panic attack.
Please read the link I sent or search any other link of your choice
Sometimes cardiologists overlook the fact that it is a panic attack and over diagnose a heart problem.
Having had panic attacks on a plane ,I just wanted to call your attention to this point. Thank you.